Dissertation deadlines can make us do some strange stuff

A couple of true stories, both of which took place over the past three weeks, when many final year Lancaster students are hurriedly trying to complete their dissertations. The names of those involved have been changed to protect the innocent.

Friday, 5am. Rachel (not her real name) wakes up in a panic. Her history dissertation is due at noon, and she's only written 6,000 of the suggested 10,000 words. Leaping out of bed, she dives for her laptop and starts frantically typing. Sweat pours off her brow as she tries to overcome the panic and exhaustion to remember how to reference her work. She can make the midday deadline; she just needs to write.

Friday, 5.30am. Rachel remembers – she has a seminar at 11am that morning. She won't be able to make it. She texts a friend in the seminar to let her know.

Friday, 5.45am. Rachel's been working for nearly 45 minutes and she's barely written 200 words. Tears start to well up in her eyes. Her hands start to visibly shake. She feels complete despair set in.

Friday, 5.50am. But no. She must go on. Tears continuing to stream down her face, she hammers at the keyboard, determined to make the deadline. She's worked far too hard to give up now.

Friday, 6am. Rachel's phone buzzes.

Friday, 6.05am. Exhausted, Rachel goes back to bed.

A second case concerns Matthew. Over the past three weeks, Matthew has become akin to a hibernating animal, like a squirrel or a bear. He stays in his room and works on his dissertation – all day, every day. His sleep patterns are completely out of kilter – he will go to sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, do a few hours of work on his dissertation and then go back to bed. He hasn't seen the daylight in weeks, and only ever comes out of his room to walk the three metres to the kitchen for a bite to eat.

Thankfully, both Rachel and Matthew have finished their dissertations and can go back to living like normal, stress-free human beings. For those of us with a dissertation deadline still ahead of us, this is what we've got to look forward to!

This article was written by Jack Perry.

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