How to win a LUSU election

Step 1: Make sure your head-and-shoulders campaign photo is set against a white background.

Step 2: Print 200 copies of said photo and stick it on every column along the Spine. Every. Single. Column.

Step 3: Ensure your campaign is accompanied by a witty hashtag, even if you don't use Twitter.

Step 4: Grab your bed sheet and write "VOTEFOR" with white paint. Witty hashtag optional.

Step 5: Drop buzzwords into random conversation with potential voters. Because representation, democracy, and surplus.

Step 6: Stand in Alexandra Square with a whiteboard and tally chart. Ask people something.

Step 7: Create a Facebook page and invite everyone to "like" it. Everyone. Even people who don't study here.

Step 8: Get well-known people to "endorse" you. Get everyone else to just "vote" for you.

Step 9: Get a “campaign team” together and have them shove flyers in people’s faces. Litter is unavoidable, anyway.

Step 10: Pose for photos with the regular campus folk, or have them hold a sign saying “I’m voting for”. #OneOfThePeople

Step 11: Attend random society and college JCR meetings to promote yourself. Make sure they take a photo of you.

Step 12: Find the fine-line between disrespecting the current FTOs and winning their vote.

Step 13: When it comes to hustings, give an impassioned buzzword-heavy speech, but try to appear normal at the same time.

Step 14: Adding the odd swearword into your hust may help. It will show just how goddamn down-to-earth you are.

Step 15: Try to maintain a regular sleep pattern because, if you do indeed win, that’s the last decent night’s sleep you’re going to get.

This article was written by Anonymous Author.

Note: This post was migrated from the old SCAN website. Some formatting or media may not display correctly.