How to write a hit Christmas song
You may have noticed that during the month of December, trying to go all day without hearing the same Christmas song twice is like trying to go to Sugar without hearing Mr Brightside.
There’s not really been a lot of great Christmas songs in our lifetimes (thanks, Simon Cowell) so there’s definitely room for a new one. Here’s our guide on how to write your own Christmas hit!
1- Find your instruments
Sleigh bells? A must. Brass band? Also very festive. Guitar solo? Perfect for everyone who’s going to drunkenly perform this at their work Christmas do. Your uncle farting after he’s had too many sprouts at Christmas dinner? Eh, why not.
Image: Tumblr
2- Write your lyrics
Christmas songs generally come under three categories.
a- The cheerful: SANTA IS COMING IT’S SNOWING EVERYWHERE LET’S GO TO A PARTY LIFE IS GREAT.
Image: Tumblr
b- The broken hearted: I’ve been waiting underneath my mistletoe for 47 days for my ex to come home, but my love life is as dead as the turkey in my oven.
Image: azlyrics.com
c- The preachy: Guys, we should probably all stop killing each other this Christmas.
Image: Tumblr
Of course, there is a real gap in the market for Christmas songs written by and for students, such as “All I Want For Christmas Is A Bigger Overdraft” and “Happy Christmas (Deadlines Are Extended)”. Be as original or cliched as you’d like.
3- Film your video
Daft dancing and novelty Christmas jumpers. Bob Geldof dressed as Santa. You know the drill. If you don’t really feel like going all out with the tacky Christmas stuff, just make sure there is fake snow everywhere, because according to most music channels, “vaguely snowy music video” makes something qualify as a Christmas song, whatever it’s about.
Image: mtvorigin.co.uk
4- Oh no! I don’t have any original ideas for a song!!
That’s okay. Record a version of Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town, or It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, or Silent Night, or Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas … Or do all of them, put them on an album and appear on every chat show ever to talk about how your childhood Christmas memories inspired you to do it.
Image: metro.co.uk
5- When in doubt…
Go on The X Factor. Win. Record a heavily autotuned cover version of something there really doesn't need to be a cover version of, accompanied by a video montage of your clips from the show. Get to Christmas number one and give Simon Cowell money to buy more grey T-Shirts.
Image: mirror.co.uk
This article was written by Rachel Scowcroft.
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