Skip to content
Lancaster University's Student Newspaper Since 1967

Roses events that should exist

2 min read
Roses events that should exist

Leave it to students to make up their own rules.

Shot relay

Each runner carries a shot glass full of spirits. They run 100m, pass the shot glass to the next runner who downs it, then runs with a shot glass of their own. Spilling the shot results in disqualification. The race continues (with runners being handed new glasses from the side of the track) until one team has been completely disqualified.

[Image unavailable - this media was lost during migration]

Image: Tumblr


Referencing race
Turning the most painful part of student life into a sporting event, each participant will be given the same random essay, with all the references removed. They will have access to the internet, and one hour to reference it and draw up a bibliography. Points will be awarded for correct formatting, and deducted for everyone audible swear word.


Roses run
A simple take on the old practice of trial by ordeal. A straightforward 100m run through chest-high rose bushes, wearing only underwear. Teams will be disqualified for any fainting through blood loss.

Post-Hustle hustle
The night before the event, both teams will attend a night out at Hustle, where each competitor must drink at least 15 units of alcohol in a form of their choice. At 9AM the next morning, teams will be subject to a 10km cross-country run. Competitors are allowed to drink as quickly or as slowly as they like, to leave at any point after they have consumed their drinks, and can use any hangover cure before or during the race. It all adds to the fun.

[Image unavailable - this media was lost during migration]

Image: Tumblr


Rudest chant competition
The offensive university rivalry chant is a time-honoured tradition, and it would be done a disservice to let some petty thing like sports get in the way of it. Two crowds of supporters in full university colours gather in some kind of stadium, and yell their most brutal of vaguely-musical putdowns across the pitch. Points will be awarded for volume, co-ordination and vulgarity.

Prettiest scenery contest
University’s full of slightly indie kids who got hold of a DSLR and declared themselves photographers. This event would make them prove it. Teams submit five photos each of the opposing city, and the most attractive set wins the points. Judged by a panel of expert art critics/whoever we can find moping around campus with nothing better to do/both of the above.

The headline competition
SCAN and Nouse are usually reduced to sports drones for the duration of Roses, watching from the sidelines but rarely getting into the action. In a sort of meta-event, The headlines reporting each event will be judged at the close of the competition and bonus points handed out. Scores will improve with levels of punniness and innuendo.

[Image unavailable - this media was lost during migration]

Image: Tumblr

This article was written by Sian Bradley.


Note: This post was migrated from the old SCAN website. Some formatting or media may not display correctly.