SCAN Fashion-O-Meter (Week 4, Summer)

The New Black

• Rihanna’s Breasts: Currently gracing every high fashion magazine. If you’re not a RiRi tit then I’m afraid you’re off-trend.

• Star Wars 7: Is it wrong we are a little excited?  Princess Leia is like an intergalactic Cara Delevingne. Or something…

• Emma Stone: WE LOVE HER. Google her lip-sync with Jimmy Fallon now.

• White Heeled Sandals: We’re being specific. They will be impossible to keep clean but for the first five minutes you wear them you will look FLAWLESS.

Croc Equivalent

• Dissertation Beards: Like an undergraduate snake you’ve finally shed your dissertation/essay skin. Please do the same with that god damn beard. (I don’t mean your girlfriend – give that time)

• iPhone Cases: Reaching new heights of tackiness. Google Jeremy Scott Fries case. (It’s amaze) The iPhone is so fragile and sexy. Using a case is like putting a bin bag on a Geisha. Or something…

• Top Knots: The current on-trend men’s hairstyle. We have a shaved head and by the time we grow one they’ll be about as trendy as a bowl cut. Annoying.

• Ejector Seat: ITV’s new Andi Peters fronted daytime quiz show. WHERE IS TIPPING POINT? WHERE IS THE CHASE? Us students can’t handle change!

Unfortunately, we have lost track of who originally wrote this article, as it did not have any author information..

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