10 ways to procrastinate during exam season
Easter break. A time to welcome Spring after a bleak and everlasting Lancastrian winter, a time to sit in the sun, unwind and chirpily binge through Easter eggs. Maybe in the fictitious utopia we visit in our dreams, but for the average modern-day student, April, May and June equate to one thing – revision. And of course by revision I mean procrastinating until the point of an almost certain emotional break down and last minute cramming the night prior to the exam. Our conception of “revision” can be broken down into 10 simple tasks…
Cry
And finally, welcome the emotional break-down, accompanied with genuine tears and false declarations that you will “never do this again”. But worry not, recite the motivational quotes you covered your room in and remember that soon, it will all be over and you can enjoy a care-free summer.
Nap
It’s been a really arduous day filled with procrastination and guilt. The only suitable thing to do when faced with such a daunting amount of work is to nap and pretend it’s not happening. Besides, you’ll be able to revise more efficiently when you’re revitalised, fact.
Exercise
Maybe it’s the self-loathing from the lack of work, maybe it’s the red bulls, but now you’re all of a sudden feeling the unfamiliar urge to exercise, and by exercise I mean sprint to the kitchen to get more food.
Power through a whole TV series
All this exertion calls for a well-deserved break, so just watch one episode of Breaking Bad, or two, or seven. Six hours later and you’re genuinely contemplating leaving University to become a Meth lord because you aced GCSE chemistry.
Highlight everything
Time to work! Grab your books and the highlighters you trekked through WHSmiths for and annotate. Highlighting everything to the point where the unmarked sections are the most prominent. Have you just coloured in a book? Perhaps, but it looks vibrant.
Obviously you’ve got to let your Facebook friends know how you’re getting on with revision. Post detailed statuses regarding your progress at regular ten minute intervals and while you’re scrolling through Facebook, spend a good hour stalking everyone and anyone you know.
Eat
OH WAIT, it’s just hit midday. Time to eat, as food is a necessity for sustaining revision energy. Should you make something quick and easy like a sandwich? Nah, now is the optimum occasion to dig out the old recipe book granny gave you last Christmas.
Spring Clean
You’ve suddenly realised said room is a mess, and who can work in such disheartening environments? What better time than now to start a spring clean? And while you’re at it, you may as well clean the kitchen and bathroom too.
Listen to motivational songs
Spend at least an hour trailing through YouTube for auditory inspiration, maybe even make a motivational playlist – a fundamental requirement for any tedious task. Queue songs like “Eye of the Tiger” and “Livin’ on a Prayer”. After being hit by this rush of encouraging energy, search for motivational quotes and proceed to decorate your room with them (once having spent plenty of time choosing appropriate fonts).
Make a timetable
Of course the primary thing to do before revision is to plan what to revise, when to revise it and how much time to allocate to each subject. “Organisation is the key to success”, so this calls for a timetable which must be detailed and colour coded to the point where it’s gallery worthy, also presenting the excuse to waste even more time highlighter shopping.
Unfortunately, we have lost track of who originally wrote this article, as it did not have any author information..
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