What your choice of alcohol says about you
Of the many decisions to make when planning a night out – clothes, hair, money, venue – the choice of your poison for the evening is a vital one for how you come across to other people. Here’s a quick breakdown of what each kind of drink says about you:
Vodka
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You’re either Russian or you’re desperate to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. A spirit which works with almost any kind of mixer to mask the antifreeze-like taste, it’s the perfect choice for if you’re low on cash, dignity or you’d like to become so.
Beer and Cider
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A classic, and acceptable to drink with a meal or at lunch, unlike most of the others listed here. Pretty expensive if you’re drinking while out, but demonstrates that you have at least some appreciation for good taste and that you aren’t just in it for the inebriation. Bonus points are awarded for real ale.
Whisky
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You like the strength of vodka, but not the taste – this tends to suggest you think you’re classier than you actually are, and you probably dress like an extra from a 1940s gangster movie. Bourbon or scotch, whisky is best consumed in two ways – sitting contemplatively in an armchair or drowning your sorrows alone at a bar.
Rum
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You enjoy whisky, but can’t afford it. Alternatively, you might be a pirate, or Cuban. Rum is a lesser-appreciated spirit to the big two, but it still packs a punch and if you’re not careful you might find yourself in receipt of a terrific hangover.
Wine
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Wine is a product even more guilty than whisky of the ‘pretentious’ accolade – that is, if you’re spending double figures of money on it. Since the odds are you’re a student, it’s more likely because you want something you can drink with dinner but which doesn’t cost serious cash, which you can still chug from the bottle like a thirsty hamster when pre-drinks come around.
Gin
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You are a 70 year old retired colonel or WI member who has somehow found their way into a students’ party. Flee immediately, or start sharing the tonic water. With a taste somewhere between unpleasant and repulsive, quite why gin still holds sway now that just as cheap, better spirits are available remains a mystery.
This article was written by Sian Bradley.
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